“WHAT THE F*$#%?” : I LIKE FISH!!

Anand Sivakumaran

Pop Quiz. A super baddie and three menacing minions charge into your home and start shooting at you and your wife. Since you’re quite satisfied with your current model of spouse and are currently not looking at any exchange scheme saving her is a priority. And since suicide is not on your to do list this week, saving yourself would also be a good idea.

So what’s the first thing you’d do –

1. Get the missus to a spot of comparative safety?
2. Pull out your own gun and start firing back?
3. Wave a white flag and plead for mercy?

Phooey. The first thing any true blue hero would do is pick up his glares lying on the table and wear them. How can he possibly do any daredevil, death defying, world saving action stunts WITHOUT HIS GLARES?

Am I kidding or what? Just telling you exactly what happens in a major action scene in a super huge budget action spectacular film made in Bollywood a couple of years ago!!!

“WHAT THE F*$#%?”

My reaction exactly!

Ok forget the movies. There’s a lot of nonsense in them anyway. Try this.

Autorickshaw drivers go on strike to protest against the fact that traffic cops are catching and fining them for having faulty meters – after all it’s their janam siddha adhikar to luto the public!!!

“WHAT THE F*$#%?”

Well ain’t that what happened in Mumbai city a coupla weeks ago?

Point being, be it in the movies or in real life, so many things make us go WHAT THE F*$#%?”

This column is a kind of journal of my WTF experiences in the course of working in the TV and film industry over the last decade. All of what follows is true, and if any of those mentioned in these anecdotes are reading, well you know who you are and since I haven’t mentioned names, you can’t sue me, so GOTCHA SUCKERS!!!

  

I LIKE FISH!

Since way too many words have been expended in just explaining the idea of this column to you, my first story is going to be a tad short. But what the hell it’s a doozy and should set the bar for what’s to come.

So let’s flashback to a time when I was still a newbie in the industry, had been around for about a couple of years and had just come on to writing a thriller show for leading channel. This was my first meeting with the channel person on that show, a sweet young gal with a generous heart full of compassion and sensitivity, which was exactly what would lead to my WTF moment…

But let’s not jump the gun. Before the WTF moment there was a good 30 minute narration of my tense and taut screenplay about a psycho terrorist who kidnaps a scientist so as to get him to make a deadly toxin with which to decimate the population of… YAWN, let’s just fast forward to the moment in question.

So anyway the deadly toxin has been created and the terrorist being a dude with severe trust issues thanks to a traumatic childhood (ok, that’s another story) wants to test the toxin. And I’d written a cheap and cheerful scene where the baddie puts the toxin into an aquarium, the fish die and the audience (hopefully) would be horrorstruck at the prospect of what would happen if the toxin were released amongst humanity.

This is the moment where the meeting went to the dogs. Or actually didn’t cause the channel lady liked dogs. Wait, I’m again jumping. So I narrated my aquarium moment and suddenly the channel lady stopped me and said “There’s a problem.”

Any of you who’ve attended meetings with TV channels or movie producers (essentially anyone who gets to decide if you eat Shahi Kofta the next day or scrabble for scraps with stray dogs) know that these three words spell doom and damnation. There was tension in the room, the production house folks were suddenly looking at me as if I was the guy who’d murdered their parents and fornicated with their goats and my writing future was looking bleaker than Manmohan Singh’s chances of another term as PM.

There was no easy way out. So I opened my trap and asked, “What’s the problem.” That’s when the immortal words that shall always be burned in my consciousness were uttered by Channel Lady with sensitivity and compassion

“I LIKE FISH!”

Pin drop silence. Maybe no one spoke cause they were wondering if she was suddenly talking about what the main course at lunch should be. Or maybe they were just following Rule Number 1 when dealing with the Deciders of tomorrow’s Dinner – Don’t talk, Just listen.

But then I’ve never been good with rules. So again I spoke out of turn, “Sorry, I didn’t quite get you.” Then came the illumination which pretty much put all my lights out.

“I like fish. I don’t want fish to be killed.”

More silence. My mind was still grappling with myriad thoughts and possibilities. Maybe the poor girl thought that the Production House, bunch of heartless bastards would slaughter real fish to make the shot look good. So I quickly spoke again, making a total and through ass of myself and said, “Don’t worry, we won’t actually hurt any fish.”

“That’s not the point. I like fish, I don’t want to even show them being hurt.”

Fait accompli. From the looks I was getting, it seemed pretty clear that forget pomfret I wouldn’t be getting to even eat pau wada if I didn’t save my script soon. Aunty was all set to junk the entire episode and if that happened production house would junk me.

I tried another gambit. “So if you like fish, you probably like dogs so we can’t have them being killed right?” The lady with the soft hearted glared at me as if I was dog doo. “I love dogs.”

Two strikes. Last chance else bye bye career. I grabbed at straws. “Do you like people?”.

She glared. “What?”

I quickly clarified, “I mean, what if the terrorist makes one of his guys breathe the toxin, and that guy dies.”

What follows is a Mother Teresa moment. “That’s lovely. We can show him choking and suffering and dying horribly. Superb.”

The production house people beamed. Channel lady was happy. I wasn’t going to be thrown out of the fourth floor. But all I could think was

WHAT THE F*$#%?”

Anand Sivakumaran

Rangmunch.TV

Meet The New Hitler... Rati Pandey!

Rati Pandey is a name, which when comes to mind  one only thinks of masti , dhoom and dhamaal. After  playing  the happy-go-lucky Nupur in Miley Jab Hum Tum, Rati Pandey will now be seen playing the role which is completely opposite to her in real life. Rangmunch.TV brings in exclusive news that she will be essaying  the lead role in  Hitler Didi, the new series which will be aired on Zee TV from 31^st October. In this show Rati is playing Indrani  who takes up the responsibility of looking after her family single handedly.The show has Delhi as the backdrop and all the scenes are also shot in Delhi. Rati would be a no nonsense girl in the show .

The actor has been in the industry for over 6 years now and has done shows  like Raat Hone Ko Hai, Har Ghar Kuch Kehta Hai. But it was Miley Jab Hum Tum of Star One, which gave her immense popularity and with that she rose to lime light .With cut throat competition in Showbiz, Rati knows she has to work extra hard in achieving her goals.

Being a Commerce graduate, acting was not intended for her. Rati always aspired to be a Fashion Designer and have her own firm for the same. But her stint on small screen, changed all her plans .Now fans eagerly await Rati’s come back on Television screen.

We at Rangmunch.TV wish Rati Pandey “All the Best” for her new show  which is definitely going to throw some serious light on her acting skills.

Edited by

Navyanka

Rangmunch.TV

Fida's Corner: His Wife, Mrs. Khurana!!! (Chapter 22)

Chapter 22

As they ate breakfast, they kept stealing glances at each other, as if trying to assure themselves that the conversation they remembered had really happened.  Nakul buzzed around them, quietly happy for once that they were eating rather than just pushing the food around their plates as had happened more and more over the past weeks.

They chatted about desultory topics; work, Pinky and Adi’s relationship, when Dadi might come back from her friend’s house.  As they were just about to leave the table, Dev wandered in, looking shell-shocked.

“Kya hua Dev?” she said.  “What happened Dev?” she said

Dev sat in his normal place, not saying a word in response to Geet’s query, then leaned his head into his shaking hands.

“Bro, main kya karoon?”  “Bro, what shall I do?”

“Dev, hua kya hai?” he said brusquely.  “Dev, just tell me what happened” he said brusquely

“Aap se baat karke main Priya ke ghar gaya, pata nahin kyun.  Shayad main usse yeh kehna chah raha tha ke main usse phir nahin milsakta.”

“After I talked to you, I went to Priya’s house, I’m not sure why.  I think I wanted to tell her that I could never see her again”

“To phir kya hua?” “So what happened?”

“Bro, she asked me to marry her.  I think I said yes.  Bro, what have I done, what should I do?”

“Dev, get a grip on yourself.  Calm down.  Go upstairs, get some sleep, let me sort this out.”

Dev continued to look shattered, his eyes wild, but his brother’s words seemed to reach him.  He stood slightly shakily and made his way up the stairs to his bedroom, leaving behind two slightly startled people.

Geet watched him go, then turned back to look at her husband.  He had a disbelieving smile on his face, his eyes filled with laughter and sadness as he watched his younger brother climb the stairs.  He turned back to her and saw the questioning look on her face, then said “Geet, I think I need to meet Priya, don’t you?”

“Aap kya karenge?” “What will you do?”

He sighed then said, “Geet, perhaps you’re right.  Perhaps it’s true that we all deserve a second chance, even Dev.  Perhaps if he is married and settled with his own family, I won’t want to rip his heart out everytime I see him.  Perhaps the time has come to just move on.  But I need to know that this woman knows what she is doing. And if she does..........”

As he spoke he stood and walked over to stand behind her saying, “If she really wants him, despite everything he has done, then she can have him.”

He paused, then bent to whisper in her ear “And then we can get on with our life”.  As he straightened, he saw the blush rise over the slope of her shoulders; he put his hand on her shoulder as he pulled his phone out of his pocket and dialled Dadi’s number.  After a moment, he felt her fingers come and rest on his hand, holding on to it as tight as she could.

When Dadi answered, he told her what was going on and agreed when she said it was probably time for her to come home.  And the whole time he felt Geet’s hand on his, all he could think about were the days (and nights) to come, and how much he would enjoy showing Geet how much he loved her.

After finishing his conversation with his grandmother, he asked Geet “Kya tumhare paas Priya  ka phone number hai?” “Do you have Priya’s phone number?”

She nodded, then drew her hand away from his as she stood.  Looking up at him, she smiled then blushed again at the look in his eyes.

“Number mere phone mein hai, woh oopar rakha hai, main laadeti hoon.” “The number is in my phone, it’s upstairs, I’ll bring it to you”.

He stopped her with a touch as she went to walk away from him, then held out his arm in a silent invitation.  When she placed her hand in the crook of his elbow, he smiled then led her upstairs. 

Once in their room, she handed him her phone, then went to the wardrobe to pick out some clothes as he made his phone call.  She listened as he spoke to Priya Paatil, appearing unsurprised as he asked politely if they could meet her today.  As he ended the call, he looked over at her and nodded just once.

She took her clothes into the bathroom to change, leaving the door open.  As tempted as he was to follow her in, to press his case, to use her physical response to help him prove his love, he resisted; too much too soon would just make her keep her barriers high.

Instead, he called in after her “Geet, Priya ke baare mein tumhein kya pata hai?” “Geet, what do you know about Priya?”

He stood in the bedroom, changing his clothes as he listened to the information she had; by the time she emerged from the bathroom, he knew as much as she did.

As she sat in front of the dressing table to brush her hair, their eyes met in the mirror.  A moment passed before she said “Aap Priya ko darraenge to nahin?”  “You won’t scare Priya, will you?”

He lifted an eyebrow at her question, then gave a half-smile as she said “Aise mat dekhiye, aap jaante hain ke aapse sab darrte hain.  Aap agar wahan Maan Singh Khurana waale roop mein gaye, to woh bechari pata nahin kya sochengi” “Don’t look at the like that, you know that everyone is scared of you.  If you go there as Maan Singh Khurana, then I don’t know what that poor woman will think”.

Walking over to stand behind her, he said “Tum to mujhse nahin darrti ho na Geet?”  “You’re not scared of me, are you Geet?”

When she didn’t say anything, he put his hands on her shoulder and turned her towards him.  As she looked at him silently, he said “Aur kissi ko bhi mujhse darr lage, magar tumhein kabhi mujhse darrne ki zaroorat nahin hai Geet.  Tumhara ek aanso to main bardaasht nahin karsakta, tumse naraaz kaise ho sakta hoon?”  “Whether anyone else is scared of me or not, but you know that you don’t need to be scared of me.  I can’t bear it when you shed a single tear, how could I ever be cross with you?”

He held her gaze for long moments until she smiled and nodded, then let go of her shoulders and leaned forward to pick up his watch.  Placing it on his wrist, from the corner of his eye he saw her fill her maang with sindoor.  For a moment, he clenched his teeth against the need to ask for the right to fill her maang, his jaw aching as he held his breath.  The moment passed as she turned and stood, but as she faced him he noticed  that her bindi was slightly off centre.

With a gesture, he stopped her; a moment later he had replaced the bindi exactly where it should be.  As he stroked his fingers down the side of her face, just touching at the corner of her lips before bringing his fingers to her halt at the point of her chin, he said “Shayad mujhe hi roz tumhari bindi lagani chahiye; Maan Singh Khurana ki biwi ki bindi tedhi to nahin ho sakti”. “Maybe I should put your bindi on every day; Maan Singh Khurana’s wife can’t possibly be seen with a crooked bindi, can she?”

Unable to stop himself, he leaned forward and kissed her on her forehead before taking a deep breath; if he didn’t stop now he would end at her feet begging for just another touch, and she would balk and turn away.

As he drew back, he was relieved to see the smile on her face and the way she raised her hand to touch the skin his lips had just caressed.   Before he could say anything else, she looked up at him and said “Mere khayal se chalna chahiye, warna Priya hamara intezaar hi karti rehjayengi”.  “I think maybe we should go, otherwise Priya will be waiting for a very long time.”

She whisked herself out of the door, leaving him standing behind trying to decipher what she meant; as her meaning sank in, he cursed his slowness and chased after her but by the time he caught up with her, she was sitting in the car and the driver was holding the door open for him.

Her cheeky smile and the blush in her cheeks warmed his heart as they began the journey to Priya’s house; it seemed his declaration of love had reassured her enough to truly give him a chance to regain her trust.  As he put his hand out and watched her take it, he realised couldn’t remember ever being happier.

One Lac and Counting…Yippee Rangmunch.TV are Shouting! Jane Meme

Jane Meme is a very popular name on the Facebook forum of Geet - Hui Sabse Parayi. She has won over many hearts on the Forums with her witty sense of humour. Her beautifully worded poems always brought a smile on peoples’ faces while her fan fictions have left the fans wanting for more.

Jane has written a poem congratulating Rangmunch.TV, for successfully crossing One Lac page views. We thank Jane for this beautiful poem and the love and support she has extended towards the Rangmunch Team. 

With over one lac views for the Rangmunch Blog

Great reads, great articles kehte hai so many log!

The Rangmunch team stride ahead

No lie ins for them in bed ;))

Interviews and articles, gossip and fact

They speak to many in the know with great tact

Directors and Actors

Are the principle factors

For us they have ogled Maan's Muscles

In the name of duty they have taken many tussles

Barun they tried to make Smile

Director told them not yet, maybe in a while ;))

Rahul, Nissar, Gorky and Gul

They have met them all, they are so cool

Details about our favourite Serials they Bring

Of the Entertainment Blog's they are King!

Whatever the reader wishes

Rangmunch Team deliver with Kisses

Niha, Navya, Niti, Swati and Neeru

They are great dosts like Jay and Veeru ;)))

May you reach many more readers far and wide

Well Done Rangmuch Team, Jane says with Pride!

Thank you Jane!

Rangmunch.TV

Rangmunch.TV welcomes Anand Sivakumaran ON BOARD!

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Anand Sivakumaran really does not need any formal introduction because his work speaks for who he is and what he stands for. However, it is an honour and priviledge for Rangmunch.TV, to talk about this Writer and Director of Mumbai’s Television and Film Industry.

What is the first thing that crosses your mind when you hear about a person who is a Chemical Engineer from IIT? With due respect, I will tell you what comes to my mind when I hear about an IITian. He is definitely going to be intelligent (obvious isn’t it?), will be working in a Corporate Firm at a Senior Management position, earning a handsome package per annum, probably not very talkative and definitely not Creative.

But when Niharika and I met Mr. Anand Sivakumaran in Bombay, he pleasantly surprised me. He was just the opposite of what I had in mind except for the fact that he is extremely intelligent. He is a superb conversationalist with a witty sense of humour and sarcasm. He gripped my attention from the word GO and I was amazed at his straight forwardness. He is a Creative genius and knows the nitty gritties of the Television and Film Industry like the back of his hand. As we spoke, I also realized that he is a man who has immense confidence & self belief and readily takes risks in life, orelse he would not have chosen the media industry as a profession which is not only opposite to what he has studied but is highly unpredictable too.

Anand has done a considerable amount of work on Indian television and has written shows like Miley Jab Hum Tum, Jab Love Hua, Shakira, Jassi Jaisi Koi Nahin, Lucky, Kabhi Haan Kabhi Naa, Yeh Hai Mumbai Meri Jaan. He has been Executive Creative Director of Rose Audio Visuals. He was a writer and Associate Director on an episode of Rishtey - Izzat Ka Falooda that won the ITA award for best Mini Series. His film (Dreamers a 32 minutes short film on which he was the Screenplay writer) won accolades at festivals abroad. Before entering the Entertainment Industry, he also tried his hands at Advertising, Journalism and Event Management.

Currently Mr. Sivakumaran is all set to make his Bollywood Directorial debut with MONEY DEVO BHAVA - an edgy, topical youth movie about greed and consumerism and how it drives college kids to amoral activities.

Rangmunch.TV, is extremely happy to announce that going forward Anand will write weekly columns for our readers. The articles will be driven by his real life experiences that he has encountered during his journey in the industry. He is a man who does not mince his words and calls a spade “A SPADE.” So all you people out there who always wanted to read and know about the inside stories of the Entertainment World, do look forward to Anand’s write-ups. We assure you that every article will be a "Reader’s Delight."

We welcome Mr. Anand Sivakumaran ON BOARD, and are eagerly looking forward to start this column on our very own blog. 

Swati Ghosh

Rangmunch.TV 

Its a century for Iss Pyaar Ko... Kya Naam Doon !!

Rangmunch.TV, wishes the entire team of Iss Pyar Ko Kya Naam Doon  heartiest congratulations on completing 100 EPISODES. On touching their first milestone, we decided it was a good time to wish them and also hear what they have to say on this occasion!! We caught the cast and crew a midst their shoots and busy schedules, but they didn't fail to share their joy and excitement...

Akshay Dogra (Aakash): "We are totally overwhelmed with all the love and adoration fans have showered on us . We at IPPKND  put in a lot of effort daily and its really good to see that it's been appreciated.We are a great bunch of people who have enjoyed every moment being part of this show and  it feels great to have completed 100 episodes. I personally love the scenes between the  brother and sister (Arnav and Anjali).There is great energy on the set when the whole  family shoots. I have great fun shooting with Daljeet and Barun". On  the current Payal-Aakash track , Akshay says "The love story is on a uphill mode where he has to defy his mother time and again. Aakash  does stand up for his love but will see a little tension and problem here and there, but in the end Love will conquer." If Akshay has to sum up himself  in one word"carefree" is the word he uses and for Aakash its "careful" (says laughingly).

Hrishikesh Gandhi (Director of Photography of IPKKND): "We thank all our viewers for giving us such good response and will continue to entertain you all." He further goes on to say that he loved filming thedargah song sequence between Arnav and Khushi and also enjoyed shooting of the first maha episode where Khushi gets stuck in the building.

Sana Khan(Lavanya): "I'm proud of being a part of this show and love every bit of the role I am playing." Sana was quick to say that she loved the pimple scene, which she shot recently. The kids called her the  pimple waali aunty which was fun. She further adds "I enjoy shooting with Mami. Its crazy when we shoot scenes together.All the cast on the show also say that I'm the perfect choice for La. My mom watches the show regularly as I'm in it and she gets totally excited about seeing me on screen. However, I haven't managed to get my friends hooked onto it, as they are are not the TV watching kinds." 

Deepali Pansare (Payal): "I would like to thank our viewers for their love and support. Its the collective effort of IPKKND team and it feels great when people appreciate your work. I hope we cross 2000 episodes with rising TRP's."

Lalit Mohan (Director of IPKKND): "By the grace of God today we are completing 100 episodes of Iss Pyar Ko Kya Naam Doon. This is nothing but a result of the hard work , sincerity and dedication the entire cast and crew has shown towards the show. At this point in time, we would like to especially thank our ever loyal and wonderful audience who have made this journey so beautiful. As I look back, I can only smile and say'. Iss Journey ko main kya naam doon?"

Barun Sobti: "Yippie!!!!!! 100 ..!!!!! Thats all I have to say" '. (runs back to give his shot)

Hitesh (Dialogue Writer of IPKKND): "Thanks for the best wishes. My message would be in Mami style..."Top floor waale bhagwaan se pray karat hain ki audiencewa bas aisan hi tik-tiki lagaayi ke watchiyaate rahe...kaahey ki abhi toh only century maare hain...double triple century toh abhi baaki hai...Hallo hi bye bye."

Sanaya Irani (Khushi Kumari Gupta): "I would like to congratulate my entire team right from bottom to top. Like you know this is a result of team work that you get to see what you do on screen. We have successfully completed 100 episodes and things are only getting better, which means all of us have passed (laughs).Obviously there is so much more to come. Touchwood to that. On asking her about her liking for Jalebis in real she laughs and says ' "I like jalebis, but not the ones I have to eat on the sets. However I have now learnt to make proper shaped jalebis.

Fans, thank you to all. I promise there is loads of nice stuff to coming your way. Always remember, you guys will be the ones instrumental in touching the next milestone. So keep watching."

Arshad Khan (Director): "I would like to congratulate the entire team on completing 100 episodes. I remember the first sequence I shot on this show was the rain sequence between Barun and Sanaya, and ever since then I have enjoyed everything I have worked in this show. I wish everyone a happy 100 Episodes and hope there are more to come since this just the beginning.

Aabha Parmar (Buaji): "Jaye ho NandaKisor aaj aap ki daya se 100 kadam chal liye. Dua karo ki in kadmo ka silsila 1000 tak pachunche. Wow Is Pyar ko Kya Naam Doon ke poore pariwar ke taraf se sabhi darshako aur Rangmunch ke pathako ko hardhik dhanyawad, badhayiyan. Umeed hai sabka pyar apni buaji aur unke pariwar par aise hi barista rahega. Thank you so much." (By the grace of God we have completed 100 episodes successfully and hope to complete 1000 someday. From the entire team of IPK, we would like to thank all the readers of Rangmunch and our viewers for loving and supporting us and  hope that you all will continue to shower your love on Buaji and her family at all times).

Abhaas Mehta (Shyam): "On this day we celebrate 100 episodes of our show Iss Pyaar ko Kya Naam Doon. On this occasion, on behalf of the entire cast and crew I would like to thank all the viewers in India and across the world in helping us achieve this feat. It is your love and support that has helped us get here. I hope you will continue to do so in order for us to reach many more milestones. Thank you so much and love you all."

Rajesh Chaddha (Producer, Panglosean Entertainment): "I would like to thank all the viewers for all the appreciation they have given this show. It's a great achievement for all of us. Actually since I came on board, it's been the fastest show to become No.2 in 100 episodes. I would like to thank the viewers for accepting the lead pair and their story. The freshness in the story is only because of the brilliant team we have. I really appreciate the hard-work the actors, the writers, the camera men and spot boys have put in. I sincerely thank all."

Utkarsha Naik (Mami-ji): "There is just one thing I want to say. Whenever you want to achieve something in life badly, just think you have already got it. It helps you get it eventually. Is Pyaar is a very different show. I call it Sholay on TV, with so many characters, so much variety. All of us have worked really hard towards this and are glad we are so well accepted and loved. Whenever I hear people say such wonderful things about my character, I feel thrilled. In fact many people from the industry have also been pleasantly surprised at this role I have picked up. I hope we achieve more in the days to come."

We too at Rangmunch feel proud that we are associated with this show and wish it goes on to complete 200 episodes and many more in the days to come!!!


With Best Wishes,


Rangmunch Team
Rangmunch.TV

100 episodes of Dil Dosti Dance!

The name by itself suggests, its all about love, friendships and loads of dance !! Channel V's Dil Dosti Dance, today completes 100 episodes a midst all fun and frolic.

Set in St. Louis College, this show tells the story of dancers! Like you would expect from a college story, there is loads of love and romance in all forms within the four walls of this show. The show in the recent past has also introduced Teen Hearthrob Karan Singh Grover, as Professor Karan Mallick who has stepped into the college to set the lives of the students right. The show also witnessed the professor, giving students tips on how the boys could win over the girls, whom each of them secretly adore. Rey and Kria like always have their I Hate You like I Love you equation going. 

We got in touch with the Concept-Story-Screenplay writer of the show Priya Ramanathan, who has been associated with the show right from the start and congratulated her. On asking her how she would like to sum up the 100 episodes that went by here is what she said..

"I cannot believe its been a hundred episodes. But then again, if your life and job is all song and dance, I guess days go by quickly !"

So true ! On that note, we wish the entire team of D3 a hearty congratulations on behalf of Rangmunch.TV and we hope they keep singing and dancing away through this beautiful journey till eternity !

Written by,

Niharika Vidya Sagar

Rangmunch.TV